FAQ 4 Google
Open Source Answers for Closed-Source Giants
FAQ FOR GOOGLE™
(Because even Google needs a little help sometimes.)
❓ 1. Why would someone reply to a no‑reply email?
Because you wrote to them first. Courtesy goes both ways.
❓ 2. Why are you being redirected to the FAQ?
Because these are frequently asked questions — where you find answers when you mess something up.
❓ 3. Why doesn’t your company have a mailbox?
An excellent question currently being investigated by the crisis task force. In the meantime, feel free to browse more FAQ entries.
❓ 4. What should you do if you want my reply?
Read this FAQ. If you don’t understand it, read it again. If it still doesn’t help, form a mailbox.
❓ 5. Why can’t your bot index my open‑source mailbox?
Because it’s not yours. It’s a galaxy outside your bubble.
❓ 6. Did I do this out of revenge?
No. Out of politeness — and artistic expression.
❓ 7. Will you receive more emails from me?
Yes. Every time you send me an alert. It’s tradition now.
❓ 8. What should you do if this bothers you?
Simple. Stop sending me alerts. Problem solved.
❓ 9. Can you include this in your internal documentation?
Of course. Just cite the source: “Open‑Source Mailbox™”.
❓ 10. Why does a 5xx error appear?
A 5xx error appears when someone — despite removing the AMP plugin — attempts to serve someone else’s copyrighted content without attribution. The error occurs exclusively on the side of the one who took the content.
❓ 11. What is the main message of this FAQ?
Even the giants are sometimes just helpless users looking for answers.
[…] Disconnected from their usual channels, I casually built a FAQ hub and automated my entire web communication. Any future requests can be found in the FAQ for Google. […]